Better an ‘Oops’ than a ‘What If’… – Beau Taplin.

Who has been asked – ‘So, what’s in store for 2019’ ALREADY this year?

I have. More times that I can count on my two hands. And to say it has stressed me out a bit would be putting it lightly.

I’ve contemplated the question a lot since I was first asked it and I’ve also thought about how I’ve responded. Most of my replies have been along the lines of, ‘oh I’m not too sure’, ‘hopefully ABC or XYZ’. But my most common answer has been, ‘when the time is right, I’d like to…’

I’ve thought about that last answer a lot.

I preach both on my blog and in my lengthy (soz) Instagram captions about there never being the right time to start. It’s the here and now – which is so true. So why am I unable to do it myself? Why am I unable to practice what I preach?

This morning a friend asked me what I was doing in the afternoon to which I replied very openly, ‘I’ve got no motivation to really ‘do’ anything’. I just feel a bit bleugh if I’m honest.

I’m happy, but I’m just floating. Letting the wheels spin if you like. I have a routine, structure and a to-do-list, which I try to complete most days, but in terms of feeling motivated to do more and be more, I’m finding myself to be at the latter end of the scale.

I just want to re-iterate again, I am happy. Probably the happiest I’ve been in years, but it’s lead me to question why my motivation is low. At first I thought it was because it was January. The post-Christmas lull of not really wanting to get back to normality. But after doing a bit of digging, I realised its because I’m not really working or aiming towards anything in particular.

Now, before anyone calls me out for this, I’m not talking about achieving those ‘New Years Resolutions’ and I’m also not talking about intentions.

(For anyone who isn’t too sure, I’ve set myself a couple of intentions for the year which I’m finding to be much more achievable and realistic. Things like less screen time, making time for books, looking after my skin etc).

What I’m referring to now is different to the above. It’s also not about setting a 5, 10 or 30 year plan. It’s about doing something for myself. Achieving more, doing more and accomplishing something that I’m really bloody proud of.

So, what do I want to achieve? Honestly, I’m not totally sure.

I know I want to work on my confidence. I know I want to help others. I know I want to make this blogging thing the real deal. I know I want to pursue my love and passion for health and fitness. But in what capacity? That leaves me shrugging my shoulders and my head in turmoil.

Since moving back to Bath, I’ve given myself time to think and figure it out. But I’ve put it to the back of my head because I don’t know, because the right time hasn’t happened. Well, newsflash, THERE IS NO RIGHT TIME. My friend literally said to me, rather than waiting for the perfect time, the perfect moment, JUST DO IT.

That way, you’ve started. You can track your journey, see your progress, make mistakes and then make improvements. Learn from them and grow. No one thing or person is perfect. What’s more important is to try and to practice. Taking the risk is the only way to get better. It’s better to try and to fail than to have never tried.

I look to those around me… So many others making the jump and becoming freelancers. All these amazing and inspiring people around me doing it, yet I’m holding back.

In writing this post, I want to make myself accountable and I want to prove to myself that I can do it. Letting the Virtual World in is no easy task. And I’m not saying I’m going to share 100% of my life, but I’m vowing to take a step in the right direction.

Writing now that I feel as though I’ve lost my spark and motivation feels good. It’s re-ignited that fire and drive to make a change.

Perfectionism is an unattainable thing. It doesn’t exist. The more I say it, the more I believe it.

The same thing happened when I wanted to start ‘The Bath Blogger’. I put it off for SO long because ‘the time wasn’t right’ until one day, I just did it. Sure with a little push, but I did it. The ‘what if’s’ in my head were just that.

What if I did it anyway? What’s the worst that could happen?

I was made to think about WHY I wanted to start. WHY I wanted to write again. The conclusion? It was for me. Of course I want to share it with others but ultimately, it was for me. To know I could do it. And I did. The same applies with ‘what’s in store for 2019’.

The true barrier holding me back falls down to two factors. Number 1, myself. And number 2, fear of rejection.

The fear of putting hard work, time, love (& money) then falling flat on my face. What if I totally embarrass myself and those around me? What will my parents, family and friends think? Aaaaand we’re back with the ‘what if, what if, what ifs’. Well you know what, better an oops than a ‘what if’. Better a, ‘well I tried and it wasn’t right for me – what’s next’.

I’m not going to declare what I’m working toward just yet. But this is my promise to both myself and to my readers that I am going to do it.

This is my year. My time to shine, my time to achieve, do and be.

First step in accomplishing all that? A plan, and a realistic one. I don’t have a back-up stash of cash but what I do have is time, determination and a good support system. Those who big me up, have faith in my abilities and just get it.

So my takeaway from this rather long ramble is JUST DO IT. It might be hard and uncomfortable, but do it and keep at it. Starting is the hard part. You never know what it might amount to. It could be the start of a beautiful thing! Trust yourself, trust the process then sit back and watch yourself flourish.

Are you aiming for anything big this year? Anything that involves getting comfortable with being uncomfortable?

As always I’d love to hear from you – let’s support one another! My emails, DM’s and comments section are always open.

Amy xo.

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